Still Learning

07 Feb

I got a job, well I have had it for a while now. I am starting to be allowed to work by myself, in which I am completely terrified. I still feel that I am not the best person for the job. We got an email today that the burner that I was using yesterday was not turned off all the the way. I just emailed the professor I worked for and was like “Hey, I think that it is my fault that it got left on and that it won’t happen again.” I said. it a lot differently. He emailed me back and was like “It’s ok, no one was hurt and I know that you are still learning and don’t let this happen again.”

It was still one of those moments that I am remind myself that I am not cut out for this job. I am not really sure what I am doing half the time. I know how to put away jars and lids.I don’t know how to do the chemical stuff. I can put stuff in the machine to clean it and take it out and wash dishes. I am still learning, I guess.

I also just changed my major to being an English major, hopefully doing something with American Lit. in the future. I might enjoy British Lit. over American and decided to go that way but other then that  I have a basic understanding on what I want to do. I know I still what to get my PH.D. and go to graduate school. I love school way to much, not to do it. I love everything about books and having real conversations about books (fiction and reality brush together but never really touch (from the movie, The Words)). There is still going to be a lot of work that needs to be done. In terms of grammar, developing my ideas, paragraph structure, how to write a wonderful transition without it being awkward, how to write beautiful conclusions (mine are slightly odd most of the time.), past and present tenses. Things I do well, I write amazing introduction paragraphs and at times I have these moments of genius thoughts. (Hint: The Road).

We talked a lot in my English class about the quest for King Arthur and the Holy Grail (Grail Narratives) and I wish I had the article in front of me. Just pulled it up, I could considering King Arthur to be a Grail Narrative. It talks more about Perceval and the Fisher King. I don’t really know what I am talking about.

Also I have been looking at Boston University: American Literature and English program. It seems perfect for me right now. It has been added to the list of possible places to go for graduate school.


Posted by on February 7, 2013 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “Still Learning

  1. JabberJ

    February 7, 2013 at 9:51 pm

    Boston is a beautiful place! It is refreshing to see someone who wants to learn and who wants to read! Just follow your dreams and you will never go wrong!

  2. Sara Katherine

    February 8, 2013 at 10:10 am

    It’s okay to not always know what you’re doing. Do some yoga and breathe. I’m so proud of you for working and trying hard even though you are unsure.


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