Feeling Down (Unsure about things)

15 Jun

It all started yesterday, when I went with my mom to put some money in my savings account/ money that my mom was gifting to me start an investing account (complicated). We were talking to the financial advisor, who goes to our church and is a really good family friend. My mom mentioned that my sister was getting a car and that my parents were going to get me one as well. This is the confirmation that I have been waiting for the past two years. I have not asked for anything really for Christmas and Birthdays for the last two years. I have asked for little things like a new alarm clock to replace the one that was not working or a new book. I did get a new phone in October which was my birthday gift from my parents. Naturally, I had been waiting for this confirmation that something was going to happen.

Last night, I started to plan out things to do when I got back to school. For example, I am arriving a week earlier in order to help out with Welcome Week and meet my kids which I am excited for. I am though moving in two days before this happens and was thinking I could spend sometime exploring Private University town. Get some Frozen Yogurt, go see a movie, or pick up dinner. Also if I needed to pick up something from Target or HEB, I could. I could also start a week early on church hunting and get settled before Welcome Week begins.

I was also planning what kind of car, I would like. One can dream, but it is going to be what my parents pick out in the end.


Ford Fiesta Hatchback

I love the hatchback but would settle for the normal car version.

Just forward to a little bit over 24 hours later. We were at dinner tonight and my mom brought up that my sister was looking at a Toyota Yaris. She mentioned that they had not been getting good reviews. I asked, well I have been looking at a Fiesta. No response. The conversation went back to my sister and something about the Yaris. The thing that bothered me the most was I was looking right at my dad when I said it and my sister immediately after I had finished speaking jumped into the conversation bring it back to herself. I repeated myself and the conversation turned again back to my sister. I was reminded on the quote from a song, “Flowers in Your Hair”, by The Lunineers.

Cause it’s a long road to wisdom
But it’s a short one
To being ignored

I have felt this ignored feeling all summer at least since the third week of being home. Mostly, I have just been hanging in my room working on homework, reading, and messing around on my computer. I feel it at work, when I am working the night shift by myself. I got yelled at for staying too late at work, only ten minutes after 11 pm on Monday because something went wrong with the cash. The incident left me embarrassed and unsure if I can do anything right. I was also yelled at in front of costumers and another employee. I also was feeling bummed because I left my sister my ticket to see Khalad Hosseni (author of The Kite Runner) speak and I got my book signed but was really looking forward to hearing him speak about his work.

I know that I should not having gotten my hopes up about the car but I am not just sure how to act anymore should I be surprised or feel down about the situation.

The only thing that seems to be going good is summer school. I have 2 1/2 weeks left.


Posted by on June 15, 2013 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “Feeling Down (Unsure about things)

  1. Sara Katherine

    June 20, 2013 at 9:35 am

    It gets better darling. Ever since I read this post for the first time, I keep seeing cars that are that color! Makes me think of you every time. We grow through adversity, and you are having a great growing season. Chin up, buttercup.

    • Rachel

      June 20, 2013 at 3:00 pm

      I love the look of the car and the lime green color better but the blue also looks nice.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: